Do you ever want to connect with your partner, but are just not in the mood? Do you ever feel stuck because you don’t want to disappoint? Or do you really want to connect but something is in the way?
Here are 3 reasons why you may not be in the mood:
1) Your body is not dialed in. Living so much these days in our heads, with our eyes glued to computer screens, we live outside our bodies and in our minds. We also live with a high level of stress. Sex, which is a very embodied act, can be difficult if you are not feeling grounded or relaxed enough.
2) Your emotions are not dialed in. Sex is vulnerable. We go to sex for many things. But one of the biggest is to FEEL! And in order to connect to your partner with no withholds, you need to feel safe and free. If you are mad at your partner, if you are carrying residual resentment, if you have an unresolved disagreement, or if your partner is in some way causing you to feel threatened or judged, it’s hard to get in the mood. Good sex comes from being emotionally available to yourself and your partner.
3) Your mind is not dialed in. We are all wired to respond mentally to certain gestures, words, touch and energy with a “go.” We are also wired to respond to other gestures, words, touch and energy with a “no.” Everyone is different. If you do not receive the particular turn ons that your mind associates with “sexy,” you may have a “no go” instead of a “go”!
Next time you are not in the mood ask yourself these 3 questions:
1) Am I relaxed in my body? What would help me feel more relaxed? Shutting off my phone? Having a nice bath? Asking for a massage? A nurturing cuddle on the couch?
2) Am I clear with my partner? Is my heart feeling open? Do I have something I need to share to feel more seen and heard?
3) Is my partner acting like my dream lover? How can I better communicate to my lover what I like in terms of gestures, words, energy, touch? What details are missing?
Many of us need help figuring out what we like and what we need. If you would like to explore this further for yourself, please book a free consultation with me.