Did you know that bonding chemicals are actually released from eye gazing?  We are neurologically wired to respond to another human being when we look into their eyes.  I remember doing sustained eye gazing with my partner at a tantra workshop for the first time a couples of years ago.  The teacher had to come around and actually tell us to stop talking.  Our relationship had become one of thinking.  The urge to talk was a knee jerk reaction.  It was comfortable.  Just pure eye gazing felt very vulnerable. But eye gazing

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Why thrive? Why show up? Because there is a great hunger needing to be fed. Author, Dr. Tererai Trent talks about it in her book Awakened Woman.  All of your little hungers are driven by your great hunger.  It is what gets you out of bed in the morning.  It is what keeps you going toward your dreams.  It is what keeps you working at something day in and day out.  It is why you came here. What breaks your heart?  Sit with this question for a few days. While you are

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Do you want to live a passionate life?  Do you want to thrive? How is this possible if you are not happy with your sex life?  Whether you want a little, a lot, or none at all, whether you want something more or less or different, sweeping your desires under the carpet will stifle your life energy. What is sex?  Why does it matter?  Why bother? Sex is a great way of playing.  It is a dance of creativity, a way to bond emotionally; a way to connect and stay connected to each other.

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Animals bond. Humans bond. Humans are animals.   If you watch animals in nature there is a dance that occurs. Members of a group weave in and out of connection. Both bonding and individuation counterbalance.  Bonding occurs as a source of reassurance, play and survival.  And individuals choose when to connect and with whom. In a couple, the dance of bonding is more of a complex negotiation.  When there are mainly two, bonding styles may be different.  The two must learn and carefully communicate preferences.  They must learn each other’s signals

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  It is so important to tell your lover how you like to be loved.  Both loved, and seduced. I know it flies in the face of what we would all like to believe.  Connection is supposed to be spontaneous, natural, romantic and passionate, like in the movies.  If our partner really loved us, they would know what to do! I have been with my husband for over 20 years and we are just starting to figure some things out about each other.  It’s because we have started talking about everything. 

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