Does this sound familiar?  Sex builds toward a climax and then crashes over, like a wave.  It is a linear ride with a destination or peak, and then a fall downward.  But what about when one person needs to slow down, the other needs to speed up, someone needs a break, the doorbell rings, someone gets upset, someone has an orgasm before the other, etc…   This is real life! My husband and I have been watching the fictionalized TV show about the work of Masters and Johnson called Masters of

read more >>

There are 4 people in every relationship.  You, your partner, your partner’s inner child, and your inner child.  That’s one reason why having kids can be so stressful sometimes.  It doesn’t seem like there is any room for you or your partner’s inner child anymore.  All the care and comforting and play can be going into the actual children.  But even in a partnership of two, it is hard to let the inner children out to feel and play and express. One of the coaching tools I use with couples is

read more >>

Do you struggle with asserting and communicating boundaries during lovemaking? Does your lack of boundary setting lead to resentment and discord? Do you wonder why you sometimes don’t feel a boundary until later on? I have been contemplating why boundaries are such a tricky issue for women.  In my own relationship of over 20 years, there has been mask-wearing and fear of rocking the boat or upsetting the status quo. Until recently I didn’t have the support, resources, or alternatives to fill in the gap of me saying “no.”  No – and

read more >>

This week I am sending you some resources for tantra. If you are interested in spirituality integrated with sexuality, if you are interested in sex as a pathway to greater love, connection, healing and life-transformation from the inside out, this is for you! There are a lot of tantra teachers out there these days.  Some tantra and neo-tantra paths are serving the purpose of simply helping people get out of repression, shame and shut down around sex.  Other paths are rooted in ancient tradition and go very deep. From my own experience so far, practicing tantric

read more >>

Do you ever want to connect with your partner, but are just not in the mood?  Do you ever feel stuck because you don’t want to disappoint?  Or do you really want to connect but something is in the way? Here are 3 reasons why you may not be in the mood: 1) Your body is not dialed in.  Living so much these days in our heads, with our eyes glued to computer screens, we live outside our bodies and in our minds. We also live with a high level of stress.  Sex, which

read more >>

Did you know that bonding chemicals are actually released from eye gazing?  We are neurologically wired to respond to another human being when we look into their eyes.  I remember doing sustained eye gazing with my partner at a tantra workshop for the first time a couples of years ago.  The teacher had to come around and actually tell us to stop talking.  Our relationship had become one of thinking.  The urge to talk was a knee jerk reaction.  It was comfortable.  Just pure eye gazing felt very vulnerable. But eye gazing

read more >>