I had an experience this week in traffic where  –boom!  I was on the triangle – Hero-Victim – Villain.    A woman in a sleek burgundy car was starting to pull out of her parking spot at a red light.  I waited a moment.  When she seemed to be pausing and not moving, I moved ahead of her.  This led to her inching up toward me, trying to crowd me out while the light was still red.  Realizing she did in fact want to go in front of me, when the light turned

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This week I am going to share with you a trap to be aware of and to avoid for more authentic, empowered relationships! The Drama Triangle.  Hero, Victim, and Villain. Do any of these roles sound familiar to you? A Victim feels powerless.  They complain, but don’t take action.  They constantly want to be saved. A Hero sweeps into action.  They know they are right and good.  Their rightness can easily turn into self-righteousness. A Villain feels unlikeable.  They may secretly view themselves as a Hero, but they identify with the shame, blame and offence that others hold about them. It doesn’t matter which of these

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When I was working with a therapist a couple of years ago one thing she affirmed for me was that couples need to talk to each other every day!  Fifteen minutes a day at a minimum.  Couples who don’t make this time don’t do so well.   This week I am sharing an extraordinary video about an 18 year old boy who had never heard his parents speak to each other. Ever!  It turns out this boy’s parents hadn’t spoken to each other in a total of 23 years.  His story made it to

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Did you know that any emotion can make sex better?  Anger. Fear.  Grief.  Exhuberance. Shyness.  Playfulness.  Hesitancy.  Whatever you are feeling in the moment. It is all part of being human. Emotions bring vulnerability and honesty, making human connection so rich and satisfying. I was talking to a woman family member recently who was annoyed at how women are always portrayed in sex scenes in movies.  She said “it’s just unrealistic!” While Hollywood and the porn industry definitely seem to be in cahoots what woman actually feels, acts, or looks like women on the screen, authentically? What

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5 years ago I was a struggling piano teacher who felt like I couldn’t stand to teach another piano lesson.  Now I am a relationship coach.  I am in love with my work.  I’m on the edge of my seat.  How did such a transformation happen? Have you ever woken up one morning and felt you were a different person? When I look back at where I was only 5 years ago, I see that I have been through a fire.  So has my relationship.  I felt so stuck as a piano

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One of the main things that I help my women clients with is getting in touch with DESIRE. This is tough!  As women we are conditioned from such a young age to subvert and dismiss our desires.  This leads us to become adults who put the needs and wants of our kids, our partners, our community, our students, our co-workers above our own. Then when asked sincerely by our partners:  “Honey, what do you want?  Just tell me what you want.  I just want to make you happy,”  we face quite a

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