Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Do you know what is the secret to experiencing a great date? ………..Tell your date what you want to experience!
The best way to assure that you are going to be loved up is to teach your lover what makes you feel loved! It is a lot easier to start tickling your fancy, turning you on, making you swoon, driving you crazy once you have shown someone what that looks like for you!
Almost all my women clients confide that they wish their partner were more psychic. I’m guilty of it too. I just want one area of my life where I don’t have to plan or manage, or command someone to do something. Sometimes I just want to be taken care of. Or more accurately, I WANT TO BE TAKEN!!
However, the truth is, you can’t TAKE me unless you know what that means to me. A great date is not necessarily just going to happen. First you need to get to know me and what I desire.
What are the details of your desire? Start thinking about what really brings you pleasure. Incorporate all your 5 senses. What foods make your mouth water? What smells do you love? What textures and colours bring you pleasure? What sights inspire you? What kind of music do you love to listen to? How could you incorporate some of these into a date?
Now give your partner a shopping list. Explain to them how to set up the room for your date, in what order you want to experience what pleasures, and how the room should look and feel. It might start with a massage, or being fed grapes and chocolate. It might be cuddling up by the fire under a huge soft fleece blanket, it might be running outside in the rain and ripping each other’s clothes off when you get back inside. It might be slipping into a bath with tantra oil and rose petals and a glass of wine. The details do matter……
Now think about what words you would really love to hear. Maybe you want to be told how beautiful you are, that you are the only thing that matters, or how much he wants you, wants to devour you. What is your partner saying to you that makes you feel sparkly and alive? What do you want to hear whispered in your ear?
Tell them what to say ……..and when to say it. It’s called training.
You are training someone how to love you.
Is there not a more beautiful act of self-love?
Don’t forget to ask them the details of their desire too.
Enjoy your date!