This week I am going to share with you a trap to be aware of and to avoid for more authentic, empowered relationships!

The Drama Triangle.  Hero, Victim, and Villain. Do any of these roles sound familiar to you?

A Victim feels powerless.  They complain, but don’t take action.  They constantly want to be saved.

A Hero sweeps into action.  They know they are right and good.  Their rightness can easily turn into self-righteousness.

A Villain feels unlikeable.  They may secretly view themselves as a Hero, but they identify with the shame, blame and offence that others hold about them.

It doesn’t matter which of these roles you may fall into. When you play any one of them, someone else automatically becomes one of the other roles!!  There can’t be a hero without a victim.  There can’t be a villain without a hero.  There can’t be a victim without a villain.  So now you are both on the drama triangle!

In truth, we are all just doing our best.  We are all just having feelings, needs, boundaries, and desires in the moment.

To get off the drama  triangle, the first step is to notice that you are on it.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself:  What is really going on here?  What am I feeling?  

From there, you can see a wider view, you can slow down and listen better, and you can hear yourself so you can better voice your own needs. The opposite of being on the triangle is being in your power.

Be aware of simply slipping from one role into another.  It’s still not in your power.

For example, I know that I felt justified in being in the hero role for many years.  But it got exhausting.  I was still in the drama.

Please remember:  Love is your nature! 

I’ll talk to you next week!

-Zoey