Question:  what does a man want?  Answer: to make a woman happy. And how to make a man happy?  Answer:  allow him to make you happy!

Yep, women, this means you have to ask for what you want.   I know, I know…it would be such bliss if he started spontaneously picking up around the house when you were overwhelmed and stressed out.  Or if he knew your body so well and he could read all your clues and bring you endless hours of pleasure in the bedroom every time……

I used to stew in frustration rather than making requests of my husband.   I didn’t want to bother him or seem like a burden.   Until I learned that if I just calmly spell out my needs, no matter what, it works out better for both of us.  The more I have become practiced at making requests, the more he understands and knows what I need in general, so he more often DOES READ MY MIND!

The other day I noticed how seamlessly I make requests now.  My husband had left a snack bag and glass beside his chair in the living room.  Rather than waiting a day or two to see when he might “act like an adult, “ rather than making it a game, or telling stories in my head of how much he didn’t love me, I simply made a request as soon as I wanted something done.

“Can you please move your snack stuff out of the living room?  It’s making me feel un-cozy right now.”

It can be hard to get the requesting process going.  You might rather make do or take care of things yourself.  You may even believe that your partner desires you as more independent (a highly valued quality these days but it leaves a big gap in connection and communication.)

One of the reasons it’s hard to make requests is that men often grumble when you first ask.  Mama Gena calls this “getting their motor going.”

If you ask for something and your guy complains a little at first, don’t freak out.  Don’t back off.  It may mean he is just calibrating on how to meet the request.  Trust me, he wants to make you happy!

These days if my husband doesn’t buy me fresh flowers for a couple of months the romantic in me simply puts them on the shopping list.

Ask a man to make you happy.  It’s his sacred duty.  And don’t be afraid if he grumbles.  He might just be asserting his manliness.  On the other hand, be willing to listen to his feelings.  If the request is really too hard, he may have something that he needs in return, or that he needs to have heard.  Ask kindly.  And always be ready to listen, feel and receive.

Please remember: Love is your nature!

Have a great week,

-Zoey